Love Is an Open Door
Kristyn Kidney
November 15, 2023
“If there is any concept worth restoring to its original depth and evocative potential, it is the concept of hospitality.” --Henri Nouwen
Love is an open door.
You may recognize this as the title line for a song from the movie, “Frozen.” Sure, it’s not the big showstopper song, but . . . let it go (sorry, couldn’t resist). As the frosty fairytale unfolds, “Love Is an Open Door” first seems like the classic Disney love ballad between the romantic stars of the movie, in this case, Anna and Hans. However, (spoiler alert) Hans’ motives turn out to be greed and power rather than love. This throws back a rather cynical shade over their initial duet. The message is clear: if love is an open door, be careful who you let in.
Still, there’s something to this line, “…love is an open door.” As Christ followers, we are called to love our neighbors. An important practice to loving our neighbor is hospitality.
What is hospitality?
Simply put hospitality means sharing loving welcome with others. In the New Testament the word frequently translated as hospitality is philoxenia. With philo- as love and -xenia as stranger, we get a sense that the hospitality believers are called to practice offers a loving welcome to strangers.
1 Peter 4:9 Show hospitality (philoxenia) to one another without grumbling.
Romans 12:13 Share with the Lord’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality. (philoxenia)
Linguistically speaking, hospitality is the direct opposite of xenophobia, the fear of strangers.
Hospitality Industry vs. Hospitality Ministry
The most common word-pairing with hospitality today is found in the “hospitality industry.” The term hospitality is attached to an array of images of fancy hotels and restaurants, magazine-ready interior design, and Pinterest-worthy dinner parties. While all those things are nice, I wish they had left the term “hospitality” out and found a different word for this consumer-oriented “industry.” To find a clearer concept of the Christian practice of hospitality, we have to take some scissors and trim off these images and consumer-driven attachments. The ministry of hospitality is often scruffy.[1] It is less about décor, and more about meaningful invitation, welcome, and belonging.
I’m reminded of a recent news story about a man from Mexico who moved to Idaho. Feeling alone in his new community, he invited some people over for a mac’n’cheese dinner. He admits that the meal was terrible. But, the hospitality was so good that it kept going. He kept inviting strangers to come to his table, and they did. He now hosts gatherings of 200 or more. Many say they were starving for this kind of connection and belonging, and that the friendships from this gathering have changed their lives. [2]
We, the Church, can do that. Compelled by the love of Christ, we could do this really well. Culturally, we may need to set aside our industrial version of hospitality in order to adopt the scruffiness of hospitality ministry.
Risking an Open Door
Also, let’s be honest. Welcoming strangers can be scary. We can find ourselves opening the door to our hearts (and lives, and families, and homes, and churches) and being frustrated or hurt by the strangers we let in. One of the very real ways love is like an open door is that both are quite risky and leave us vulnerable. If we ask ourselves why we don’t engage more in hospitality, fear is a legitimate answer. The call to practice hospitality is uncomfortable. It challenges the “stranger danger” programming we have been taught for our own safety.
And yet . . . we are still called to practice hospitality—to welcome and love strangers. We proceed with discernment, yes. We proceed with wisdom and guidance of the Spirit and our faith community around us, yes. But we still proceed. We still move forward to open the door and love strangers. I also very cautiously suggest that some of the risks we take along the way could draw our attention to our very real need for God and the ways we must depend on Him for everything, which might not be such a bad thing.
We All Need Hospitality
Our particular interest in hospitality is in language hospitality—learning to express meaningful welcome and belonging for multilingual neighbors. This area is especially important because people in the linguistic margins are especially at risk of being isolated instead of being invited into community. It is also worth noting, we all need hospitality. We all need invitation, connection, and belonging. There is an isolation epidemic in our society. The US surgeon general even published an advisory declaring isolation as a widespread health concern.[3] Hospitality is a very important practice that has the potential to do a lot of good for a lot of people. And it doesn’t have to be posh or polished. It just has to start with love and an open door.
“We must be biblically motivated, sociologically informed, and practically invited to love and welcome the stranger. Showing hospitality is not only for the benefit of the ‘stranger’ but for the mutuality and strengthening of the church.” [4]
[1] Jack King. “Why Scruffy Hospitality Creates Space for Friendship,” KnoxPriest (blog), May 21, 2014, https://knoxpriest.com/scruffy-hospitality-creates-space-friendship/.
[2] Amanda Roley, “‘It’s Amazing How Much It’s Grown’: Idaho Man Invites Everyone to Monday Night Dinners,” KGW8, October 30, 2023, https://www.kgw.com/article/life/people/coeur-dalene-man-invites-strangers-monday-night-dinners/293-0c416224-26a7-4836-8391-5f77d4538f36.
[3] Office of the Surgeon General, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation: The U.S. Surgeon General’s Adviosry on the Healing Effects of Social Connection and Community,” 2023.
[4] Karen Gonzalez, The God Who Sees: Immigrants, the Bible, and the Journey to Belong (Herald Press, 2019).